I am similar to your daughter in some ways but much older. Lately, I have felt that I have reached a dead-end in my career (though I am still employed).

I have a few thoughts that might be useful. One is the concept of ikigai: finding the intersection of what you enjoy, what you are good at, and what the world needs. For a long time, it seemed like building software hit all three marks for me, but in the last couple of years, it no longer seems to hit the last one very well.

When I was younger, my reaction to difficult things was to simply try harder. I’d throw myself at the problem repeatedly until it yielded. That can be the right thing to do, but with age I have gained enough wisdom to realize that sometimes it’s better to go after the lower-hanging fruit.

I am not suggesting that your daughter give up, but if I were you, I would help her identify a back-up plan. Help her get excited about the possibilities in case plan A does not work out. If she feels that she has other options, she may regain her confidence regardless of what happens.

Oh, and make sure that she knows how much you love and respect her no matter her job situation.

Merry Christmas.

P.S. Cold applying is probably a waste of time. Too many people are applying using AI bots. Find ways to network with real people if possible. Maybe contact career services at MIT?

I am afraid that this “1 year of experience 10 times” mantra gets trotted out to justify ageism more often than not.

Getting sued occasionally is a cost of doing business in some industries. It’s about risk mitigation rather than risk elimination.

Hijacking the back button, on the other hand, is just rude.

Pricing transparency also does not exist here as GP is claiming it does in Hong Kong. I am supposed to get certain imaging tests done every year, and I never know how much those will cost me until after I have already done them (in the U.S.). Maybe there is some way to get a non-binding estimate ahead of time, but I have never received such a thing and am not even sure it is possible. So I can’t easily “shop around”—or if can, tell me how because I (and I think most people) don’t know how.

I most certainly cannot pay $300 to see a specialist the same day in the U.S. I would have to pay that much to see my GP after waiting 6 weeks despite my employer paying more than $20k/year to insure my family. To see a specialist, I would have to wait a few months and probably pay $1-2k for one visit, not counting any tests or imaging that is ordered.

The description of Hong Kong’s system sounds amazing if true.

In my state, a full 1/3 of the population is on Medicaid ... which seems extremely high for a program originally intended for the poor.

From a financial standpoint, it doesn't seem like either party has succeeded at significantly slowing the growth in healthcare costs overall. How much more can it grow without breaking? The Dems haven't proposed a solution either.

I am not sure if anyone has ever tried to reproduce this result on a wider scale.

So I just wanted to highlight that even if those problems don’t exist, you still have the scary unknown cost question that might be the largest impediment of all.

I once had a doctor order a test at a hospital that he assured me was in network. The hospital got pre-authorization from my insurance company for me to have the test done. I had the test done. My insurance company then denied me any benefit because they said afterward that I went out of network … and there are millions of stories like mine.

Not to mention that even if you manage to stay in network, lots of people cannot afford even the max out of pocket that creeps up faster than inflation every year.

I have had some family members decide that they will just accept that they are going to die in an emergency situation because “if it’s my time, it’s my time” and they don’t want their life savings to get vacuumed up by some hospital administrators. This is not merely theoretical… one person in my life is dead now who probably would have lived if he had felt comfortable seeking medical care.

School districts around me are closing schools because there aren’t enough kids to fill them.