Does the executive know better at this point but have toasted the culture and no one can fight against it anymore?

That being said I'm interested in locating some reading material on these topics that don't just cover the basics, but do so with a little more depth so I can hopefully glean some of the senior level experience I'd get if I was actually doing it regularly.

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47603133

Points: 10

# Comments: 5

I read a book on the Anthropology of friendship in the past year, and it said that some people have the ability to be 'true' friends. That is they extend goodwill regardless of circumstances or who you are. Most people don't have the ability to do this, which is why I think everyone always feels disappointed by their relationships.

'Are you contributing enough' is a less important question than 'are you passionate about the field and do you like what you're doing'. If you're just in it for the money and uninterested in learning that'll make it much harder to reach a higher level of productivity.

And worse, the only people with motivation to fill the top tiers of the company are usually a little off. You essentially have to be a bit nuts to want to be C-level or above in a large corporation. I've seen it, there are employees who will ruthlessly seek out more money. Usually their competence levels aren't quite there, but they are the only people who want the job.

If we set aside productivity and view software as a trade and craft, which skills do you think are inherent in someone who's reached a level of mastery in the field?

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46828434

Points: 2

# Comments: 1

But they have made a lot of money, yea.

"In the last few years, however, a flood of new research has altered the landscape of the debate, in two ways. First, there is now a lot more work revealing a wide range of direct harms caused by social media that extends beyond mental health (e.g., cyberbullying, sextortion, and exposure to algorithmically amplified content promoting suicide, eating-disorders, and self-harm). These direct harms are not correlations; they are harms reported by millions of young people each year. Second, recent research — including experiments conducted by Meta itself — provides increasingly strong causal evidence linking heavy social media use to depression, anxiety, and other internalizing disorders. (We refer to these as indirect harms because they appear over time rather than right away).

Meta’s own research on the effects of social media reduction confirms those from academic researchers. Both sets of researchers find evidence of causation, not mere correlation"

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46743616

Points: 2

# Comments: 1

Prior to the internet people were staying home and watching TV. The dynamic is much longer lived than you think. Check out the book 'Bowling Alone'.

These days even people who are nearby are still far. That 30 minute drive both ways along with coordinating a time is a lot of extra work to add onto an already busy life.

But if these same people lived on your street you could just pop over for a quick coffee. As is what actually happens. My wife and I have socialized with new friends in our neighborhood more than close family lately because they're right around us. The kicker is we built the friendships through our kids school and repeated proximity rather than artificially.

Traditionally you'd live around the same people your whole life. Invariably they'd feel like family and it wouldn't feel awkward to get together. But that's not how modernity works. People move to different communities all the time, so it becomes difficult to build familial friendships with others.

That's the essential problem. The internet allows us to stay in touch with people who feel like family. That's what we want to do psychologically. If all those people were in the same city there'd be a lot more socializing.

In other words, the problem is structural. Moving to a new city where you don't know anyone, only work with people for a few years, and where there are no longer institutions like the church, how is anybody supposed to meet anyone? Meetups? Half the people can't even afford a car.

There is no solution other than meeting a lifelong partner.

For me, company culture has always been a primary concern. Is the company a non-stressful place to work and am I working with grownups. That's a massive factor, and the reason I've left two previous jobs.

Laudability is also big. Or in other words purpose. Once all the sheen of working in the software industry wears off do you actually care about the work you're doing? That can go a long way in providing motivation.

But then there are some who are happy to grind out code for exorbitant amounts of money and no purpose. So YMMV.

When one of our kids started school we met a few families in our neighborhood and we see them fairly regularly. The difference is with them we can step out the door and we're already together. No planning required.

I wonder if social media essentially allows us to maintain friendships artificially, beyond the normal bounds of connection. It actually creates more maintenance overhead because you've got to maintain these contacts despite the relationships being largely irrelevant.

There is also the lingering pressure to share but maybe, at the end of the day, these cheap shares are just a trivial blip in other people's days. If we can't actually talk to someone due to social dynamics or energy constraints then they're effectively no longer a part of our life and social media is a bit of an illusion.

Keep the avenue, avoid the feed.

A bit of a cliche topic but I'm interested in hearing what others think of relationships like this. How do you feel about these distant contacts who are undeniably friends but who don't have enough time for us.

Lately I'm wondering if the whole game of social media is to leverage people's FOMO. Social media feels like the tribe that we'll lose if we leave. But is it true?

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46579591

Points: 3

# Comments: 6