2) This is not a reasonable objection, I could replace "loaded" with "compiled" and your non-argument would make just as much sense. The alternative does not make the "complexity" go away, it just distributes across multiple languages in your application and database.

3) No.

4) Another non-argument against stored procedures. For example, suppose I have a table "time_series(series_id INT, tstamp TIMESTAMP, val NUMERIC)". A common need would be to accumulate all points (tstamp, val) associated with a series_id. Following your logic, you either end up with tons of con the application side sending similar variations of a query that looks like "SELECT tstamp, val FROM time_series WHERE series_id = $x ORDER BY tstamp" or you create one application-level module that acts as an abstraction around a query like that. In the first case, you're doing massive duplication. In the second case, you've essentially made a stored procedure that is distributed across your database and application and all the issues you raised of having to write something to talk to it apply just the same.

5) Again, no. DBs are precisely to place to deal with issues like this as they have means for dealing with things like foreign tables. The application-level alternative just means re-inventing it all yourself and you're probably going to make a lot more mistakes and write a lot more code that way.

6) Non-argument (applies just as well to Rails, Python, Linux, etc.)

Erica: sharing your experiences the way you did was extremely brave. I can only imagine what you must be going through having already braved such a minefield of abuse in what ought to be a progressive and accepting work environment. Keep fighting the good fight.

For god's sakes, stop it. This blatant sexism and double standards is disgusting. If Ellen were a man, never in a million years would they be expected to bear responsibility for their spouses' misdeeds or attacked for who they slept with (indeed, they'd be getting high-fived for being a "womanizer" or "stud").

This is 2015, I really hope you don't need someone to explain to you that women don't have to share the blame for their husbands (alleged) misdeeds. Disgusting.

However, it seems quite clear to me that minorities in positions of authority or public visibility face a level of vitriol unlike that experienced by some boring old white guy. Look at the level of hatred directed towards Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama; look at the hatred directed towards a woman trying to present at a tech conference; look at the death threats Anita Sarkeesian has received for making YouTube videos on video games.

Nothing drives Angry White Men on The Internet more ballistic than a woman or a person of color in a position of authority. You see the exact same thing with the sheer insanity the right-wing is driven to by President Obama's essentially centrist administration.