However, I suspect it won't. It never worked for me.

Firstly, any blocker you setup yourself you can take down yourself. You might find that it works for a day or two but then you feel really awful and binge youtube even more than normal.

Secondly, blocking tools are a tacit acknowledgment that you have given up and can't control yourself. "My willpower is just too bad. There's no way I can control myself. I need a tool to do it for me." This is the opposite of the feeling your want to cultivate. You want to feel more in control of yourself and your actions and be able to direct your attention accordingly.

Unfortunately, there are no silver bullets. There is no one little trick that will solve everything for you. That said, there are things you can do that will help a lot.

Get in touch with your emotions. Find out what triggers send you to youtube. Here's an example for me:

Think about important essay that is due soon --> worry and dread about academic performance --> watch youtube to forget about it.

This is probably happening in a blink of an eye. Probably so quickly that you don't even notice. If you can start noticing and naming your emotions you can deal with them more constructively.

Positive emotions can be triggers too.

I'm so excited about this new hobby I'm into --> I'm going to research it on youtube --> 3 hours watching videos about painting but not doing any painting.

Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with this. But if you can notice the emotions you can start to redirect them and work with them.

I think back on my past and all the evil actions I have taken have all been fed by very low self-worth and insecurity.

When you think of yourself as below everyone else, trying to bring them down to your level with malicious acts can feel like quite reasonable. You're "punching up" so you can feel a sense of righteous justification.

It's only looking back that I realize I wasn't nearly as weak as I thought.

The confusing thing is sometimes I have days when I do manage to do work, but I can never see what I do differently on those days to other days.

I have tried all kinds of blocking software and strategies. Blocking software, however elaborate, never seems to make a different. You find one way or another to get around the block and then after a while turning off the block just becomes part of your muscle memory. The most extreme thing I tried was cutting off the internet to my house and going back to a dumbphone for 6 months. For sure, I probably had less screen time. But I also spent many hours sitting in the station using the public wifi or watching hours and hours of pointless television.

This is a really tough nut to crack. I think there is probably no technological solution to it.

I procrastinated so badly I could never apply for jobs. And the jobs I did get I lost quickly due to the same procrastination.

I find accepting and making peace with my problems (paradoxically) helps improve the problem.

I am going through a particularly low dip right now. I haven't done any work in the last 4 days. I tried a 4 minute pomodoro timer yesterday and 2 minutes in I was already completely off task.

In the past I would panic, worry, think "Why me and my terrible executive function?" or "What if I can never do anything again ever". Instead I am accepting that this is the issue I have and keeping a curious, open mind to possible solutions. I'm trying out taking longer breaks, changing up my workspace, body doubling, nutrition, timers, not trying to do anything etc.

I'm sure it will swing back the other way in its own time.

Of course I would love to be able to be consistently able to work, but that is not a reality for me. In the same way I would love to be able to run 100m in 9.6 seconds but that is also just not realistic.

Other comments here are good too: eat well, sleep enough, exercise regularly. This is a good baseline to have but these things alone never fixed my issues.

* Eat, sleep and exercise. Have you ever snapped at someone you love because you were really really tired? You have less ability to control your emotions if you aren't on top of these things. When task planning it's easy to think only about the task at hand, but scheduling time to rest, go for a walk or have a snack can be helpful.

* Putting some 'distance' between myself and the task, however small or artificial. Often, I start writing an important email in a text editor instead of an email client. It just feels less 'real' and that reduces my anxiety and resistance. I wonder if doing a practice version of a task could help?

* Adding some kind of physical motion to a task. For example, if I'm sitting at my desk and I need to fill in a form, it always seems easier if I've come from just tidying up rather than another stationary task. Making tasks more physical seems to help.

* Naming the reason why I'm not doing a task can sometimes help but other times not. Saying "I'm feeling overwhelmed with this task" is 50/50 on whether it'll help or make me feel even worse.

* Usually when I'm feeling really stuck I know exactly what I need to do. I know that I haven't opened that email in my inbox. I could easily spend a week thinking about it hundreds of times but never actually doing it. I don't think a reminder or a nudge would help me, because I'm already constantly reminding myself. The times I find reminders and nudges helpful are when I can complete the task right then and there with little resistance. For example: If I put a drink in the freezer to cool it down quickly, I always set a timer. When the time off the task of removing the drink has no stress or anxiety, so I always do it. If I don't set the timer I am very likely to forget the drink. I have tried setting reminders and timers for tasks that I procrastinate on but it never really works. If a task is overwhelming you now and you delay it by 1 hour or 1 day, it's probably still going to overwhelm you later.

For me there are three major emotions that get in the way of task completion: excitement, boredom and anxiety.

Excitement is usually for some other task. I'm working on my tax return and I think about upgrading my washer/drying. Suddenly I'm researching all the different types, the best deal on one, the history of the washer/dryer. It might be a task on my to do list somewhere, but I was driven to do it by the excitement.

Anxiety is a tricky one. If I'm writing something like an email anxiety often gets the better of me. What if this isn't the right way to do it? What if it comes off as rude. This ties in to perfectionism too.

Boredom is usually overtaken by one of the other emotions, but sometimes it appears on its own. I've got to input these numbers into some old, janky piece of software. It's probably not that hard or long of a task, but it feels so pointless. I'm just wasting so much time doing this task when I could be doing something more efficient and more meaningful.

If you can solve these emotional issues then pretty much any todo list app (or just a notebook) will be fine.

All through the test I felt like I was crushing it. Spacial reasoning, pattern recognition, memory tasks. When the results came back I got 135 on spatial reasoning but 89 on processing speed and working memory.

Looking back on my life I realize I had always made up for limited working memory with systems, mnemonics and other techniques. When you've lived your whole life with a limitation you can have a huge blind spot. You've never known what it's like to have "normal" working memory.

Even though I know I have a tendency to take on too much, I still find myself in this situation repeatedly. I think back to 6 months ago when I was agreeing to do some of these projects and I remember my thought process: 'I better be careful not to take on too much. I better make estimates extremely conservative.'

Nevertheless I find myself having far too much to do and not enough time to do it in.

What techniques do you have for not taking on too much? How do I get to the magical state of being able to underpromise and overdeliver?

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43034706

Points: 9

# Comments: 23

I have lots of things I want to write about but I feel completely anxious about putting my ideas out there, even got relatively simple, straightforward things.

How do you push through the anxiety and actually put things out there?

Don't underestimate how bad ADHD (and related issues like anxiety, depression, rejection sensitivity) can be.

Now that I've been diagnosed I use a wide range of tools to improve my performance:

* Automation for start and end work tasks. I have Keyboard maestro open and arrange multiple windows on multiple monitors so that at the start of the work day I can press one button and get started. Or if I've gone off task I can close everything and simply hit one button to get back on task.

* Timers. I use many timers to remind me of important things and timebox chunks of work. I really like smart speakers as they are a low distraction device. I also use Horo on my computer and a garmin smartwatch with multiple vibration timers (great if you are in a situation where you need a timer but can't disturb others).

* Task separation. I use different folders and browser profiles for different tasks. The browser bar color changes to remind me which 'mode' I'm in. Downloads automatically go into their respective downloads folder so when I'm hunting for something after the fact it's usually much easier to find.

* Emotional skills. By far the biggest impact. Better than any tool, gadget, app or aphorism. Slowly learn to forgive and accept yourself even when you don't do anything. Spent the whole day watching youtube by accident? Fine. Didn't reply to that email for 6 months? It happens. Learning to see your big, uncontrollable emotions before they completely overtake you is also very valuable.

Overall ADHD is a disability and will have large effects on your career. You can take action to ameliorate some of these effects but you'll generally be behind a similar person without ADHD.

Above all: treat him as an individual. There are a lot of stereotypes about ADHD that don’t really match how I experience it. Images of kids running around, can’t sit still, loud and disruptive. None of these were true for me. I was swimming in my own imagination all the time. I’m also extremely sensitive emotionally. I still have to be very careful managing my emotions. One unkind phrase can send can send me spiraling into depression or blind with rage (thankfully I am able to manage it a lot better these days).

Another tip is to work with the ADHD, not against it. If something isn’t working then change it up. Novelty can be a big motivator for people with ADHD. Maybe this means you have a new calendar system every 2 months? Accept it, run with it and enjoy it. Sure, it might be easier to use the same calendar system but that doesn’t work with the condition.

Focus on controlling the micro environment, not the macro environment. Should he go into medicine, law or engineering? Any of those could work well. But the way you succeed in any of them is having the right micro-environment for studying. Short bursts, flashcards, games, active and interesting ways of learning. Again, when something doesn’t work, change it up.

Finally, be and friendly, loving and guilt free as you possibly can. When I was younger I piled the guilt on myself. I was constantly upset that I wasn’t studying enough, wasn’t succeeding, wasn’t following the right path. All this guilt just led to avoidant behavior and worse outcomes. Whenever anything goes wrong try to face is as a curious scientist. What went wrong, how can we do it better next time? The guilt never helps.

Your own innate strengths can be a huge blind-spot.