I'm trying to find a therapist after about 20 intermittent years of disappointing therapy experiences.

I find CBT trite ( https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/07/16/cbt-in-the-water-suppl... )

But psychodynamic is directionless and in a way that never seems to help either, and hides behind the lack of measurement. It could be amazing with a wise Irvin Yalom figure, but 99% of us aren't interacting with somebody that thoughtful.

How well, generally, do you think therapy works? What works best?

Travel lightly, get a feel for different environments and cultures, then take that perspective to your hometown.

Travel is frosting. The cake can be building a meaningful life that involves community, maybe family, and possibly meaningful work.

One can have a small amount a savings account with plenty withdraw-able assets in Mutual Funds etc to fall back on

Derek does though tend to act in, or advocate for, the absolute extreme.

I remember an old story where Derek micromanaged CDBaby knowing how to do every thing including write all the code in Rails. Burning out, he then trusted his employees to run his company completely without him. Derek became painfully disillusioned when his employees betrayed him under zero oversight, and sold the company. My thinking reading this years ago was the wise path was probably more reasonable delegation with reasonable oversight.

It is ok to reject the shiny extreme. Moderation is beautiful.

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42169481

Points: 21

# Comments: 2

OP handled it well, but two things I would do differently in responding.

1. "Sorry you feel that way". I never apologize for other people's feelings, only my own actions, when am am sincerely sorry. "Not-really-apologies" are, IMO, always in bad taste.

2. Not sign emails using "best". Best what? Obviously this is up for interpretation but a dangling best is (IMO) corny and exudes "I am writing unnaturally and I think this is how professional people write"

I wholly disagree with this foundational principle of CBT. Feelings of, say, anxiety or depression can completely bypass rational thought. For me this is easily testable by having a cup of coffee. After that drink I will (often) feel less depressed and (sometimes) be more anxious. I may have thoughts that stem from these sensations. Just as sometimes I may have sensations that stem from thoughts. The system to me seems more complex than thoughts > emotions.

There are many biases build in to self-reporting surveys. Longtime Consumer Reports readers who buy a Toyota because they believe it is the most reliable make want their choice to have been correct. Their answers about problems with their car will reflect that.

There are cooks/chefs from one culture/place in the world living in other spots.

Repairs can be expensive (the solutions will lean towards "replace the entire motherboard"). But help at the genius bar from a real human can also be free.

Compare this experience of what options one has if a hardware issue, or some software question, with a dell laptop.

Availability of help at Apple stores is one reason I steer non-tech relatives towards Apple products, and helps justify premium pricing.