Sorry for your loss. I myself have two sons and almost cried when I read your post.

I just wanted to respectfully disagree that losing a child was that commonplace until approximately yesterday. IMO it's such a common thing that even today millions of people around the world suffer from that [0]. It's equally horrible experience to lose a child to what you describe in your post or to lose a child due to something this: [1]. (One could argue that a child simply dying is slightly better than having them brain dead for the next X years. But... let's leave it aside for now.)

My humble suggestion would be that maybe it would help to focus on preventing other children die. But IDK, I'm not a psychologist.

Chreers!

[0] https://ourworldindata.org/child-mortality

[1] WARNING: pretty graphical https://w.wiki/8thW