You can see the PTSD and anxiety still has me up at 4:16am, I still don’t sleep well. I’m still healing and I imagine I may never fully heal but I do have hope that one day I will be better and have grown immensely through the experience but even today I have survivors guilt for being at work instead of home.

As for advice I think as we all relationships, communication is key. I dropped the ball here because honestly the first year I only got out of bed to go to the liquor store.

Year two, I drained my retirement to live while staying 24/7 obliterated and not dealing with what can only be called a complete loss of one’s identity and self.

I don’t think it is healthy for us to stay together because she took the loss much easier than I at least from all outward appearance.

Years 3-5 was a very introspective and healing time where I went through periods of depression and hopelessness.

I’m now in the rediscovering who I am phase because I kind of lost that along the way.

So in conclusion, a combination of LSD and therapy(CBT) allowed me to start moving forward with life and slowly getting out of a never ending cycle of grief.

That probably doesn’t answer your question but I think every one who has to go through this kind of event is going to handle it differently.

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