Find a good support system. People that love you are going to be the most important thing for the next couple of months. Let them help you. Lean on them. It is fine to be weak. This is the time to let them give (time, money, encouragement, prayers, comfort, etc) to you.

Good luck! I wish you the best.

1. Do some introspection to learn what you actually want (vs what the society around you tells you to want). Free yourself of judgement of your true ambitions and accept what you care about.

2. Follow your curiosity. Do things that interest you, not because there is any end goal or destination but just for the sheer love of it.

3. Help someone else. Focusing on yourself (which we all do) tends to depress. Focusing on other people tends to uplift. Every time you interact with someone else, ask yourself how you can make their day better and take at least one action (could be as simple as a smile, a thoughtful compliment, a gift, whatever)

Also helpful is developing a practice of observing yourself. Just make a mental note of what is going on. Something like "I am feeling sad", "My chest feels very tight", etc. The key here is to create some distance between yourself and these emotions.

My last recommendation is to develop acceptance. Most things lose their scariness once you accept them. Once you are fine with whatever scenario is causing you stress, it loses its sting. This can be hard to do but is extremely effective in quieting your mind.

Comments URL: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46992262

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It's been a while since I read "Surely, you must be joking" but I seem to recall Feynman himself makes the same point. He basically says something to the effect that some of his stories and bon mots are things he wished he said or did rather than stuff that actually happened.

First, never underestimate the impact of your environment on your way of thinking. We all like to think we’re independent thinkers but really we’re much more influenced by the people we interact with than we could even realize. Once you have a kid, a lot of your social circle will consist of other parents so you will unconsciously absorb their values and motivations as well, including the desire to put your kids through all these hoops.

Second, many professional class parents believe that the key to future success lies in getting their kids into the right school. Hence, it’s never too early to start the kid on the path to great grades, background experiences, scholarships, etc. I’ve seen parents stress out about preschool enrollments because of the “advantages” these schools provided.

Lastly, this is very often the default path for parents. It’s just what you are supposed to do. Everything is set up in that direction. Defaults are powerful and govern our behavior much more than we all realize.

Final last point, the truth is no one knows what works when raising kids. For every story of a free-range kid becoming self-reliant, there’s a story of a latchkey kid that became a bum. Therefore, parents are generally risk-avoidant with their kids (there’s no do-overs) and tend to do “good” and “respectable” approaches in child rearing (like signing them up for sports, extra curriculars, etc)

I guess the practical answer is that it’s impossible because there’s always the option to have an adult perform the verification and then hand over the device to the minor